YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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