How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
