Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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