Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
