How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
