You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
