butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
