I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
we're so committed to being not committed
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