finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
