Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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