I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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