I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
