Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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