It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
