Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You pole danced in your parka.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
