This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
