when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
North Korea, Best Korea!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I came so hard my ears popped.
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