Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
