first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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