I'm going to jail i love you
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
