well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
