Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize