2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
