so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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