i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
