She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
