Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
