Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
