I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
