is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
