Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
