Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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