hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
