This is not my ceiling
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
