That's intense
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
