he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
