So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
