Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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