Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
