Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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