I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize