I didn't shave. On purpose
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize