whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
