I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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