i would punch a child for taco bell
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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