Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
