weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
