Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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