I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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