Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
