They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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