Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
